I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
