I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
