She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
