so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
