i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize