i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
