Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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