I feel like abortions should bother me more
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
