Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
