apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
