Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
