What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
