sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
