YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
