I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize