I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
