i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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