Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So here I am, sexting at work.
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