I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Found the puke drawer
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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