Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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