I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
