My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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