let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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