Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
