I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
