Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
