do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm sobbing to NWA
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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