guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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