Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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