There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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