I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
