So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
