end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
