Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
