can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize