I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
