dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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