i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
