I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
