People in love make me want to vomit
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
