Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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