i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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