we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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