By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It's never too late to be topless.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
