we have pet lesbian snakes
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
