And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
