What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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