My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
