At least make sure they are 18
Why
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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