How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
