We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize