He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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