i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
