these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize