love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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