i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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