i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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