I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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