Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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